Monday, September 08, 2008

Golklicks and the three stories

from w
Goldilocks eventually grew up and became rather plump. Here are three stories about Goldilocks embarrassed during a holiday abroad.

I. On a bus
Goldilocks was travelling on the Navua to Suva bus with her husband. Now she’s no chicken but a rather plump chook. Onto the bus comes a mob of people including an older kind of lady who sits next to the two. “Bula,” she says.” I think I know you,” she says to Goldilock’s husband. “Forty years ago in Rakiraki. I was a nurse there. So this is your new wife? What happened to the slim young one?” Hmmm.

2. In a village
Villages near tourist resorts sometimes are given leftover chairs and furniture when the resort upgrades. Goldilocks was staying in such a village. There were beautifully carved wooden chairs, strong chairs, but also those lightweight white plastic chairs that are around swimming pools. Goldilocks was eating an early lunch of coconut cake and lemon drink and the cake was tasty so she leant over for more, took one piece, then leant back contentedly. Slowly but surely the white plastic chair she was sitting on just caved in, a leg broke in half and Goldilocks flew in the air then down onto the broken chair and tiled floor. “Oh sobosobo sa madua sara ga” she shouted out. (How embarrassing!) The hosts were astonished, and one said, “Yes those chairs are not for leaning back. Are you okay Goldilocks?’ Well, something like that. She laughed., then the host said, ‘Well, Goldilocks can speak in Fijian. How about that!’

3. On a plane
Goldilocks ate too much that day; breakfast of coconut cake and tea, an early lunch of coconut cake and lemon drink, roti and curry and tea at 4 p.m. then on the Air Pacific plane by 8 p.m. the steward brought out the dinner of chicken and rice, raspberry cake, fruit, bun, apple juice and coffee. Goldilocks had been brought up to eat everything on the plate, not waste anything, so she ate it all up very quickly. Oh dear, the last hour on that plane ride was a problem. Goldlock’s stomach grew and grew larger and larger. The seat-belt could hardly fit. She wriggled and squirmed, massaged her tummy, to no avail. Her stomach was full of air. She thought that if she went to the bathroom to relieve the air, the door might blow out and the passengers think that an oxygen tank had exploded or a terrorist was on board. That man in the red shirt who walked up and down, surely he was Security. So she suffered and suffered. At Arrivals, she ran helter skelter to the bathroom. Ahhhhhhhh.

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Blogger The Moody Minstrel said...


(Trying not to laugh but finding it very difficult...)

Kind of reminds me of my last visit to Australia. I came home with a gut, my most (sadly) lasting souvenir.

5:58 AM  
Blogger Peceli and Wendy's Blog said...

Did I really type that heading Golklicks? Senility is really setting in. It is good to be back into a normal humidity and temperature - my comfort zone - but it is disorientating to be in Geelong after life in Suva and saying farewell to the grandkids and my son wasn't easy.

8:21 PM  
Blogger Penny said...

What a lovely story! Oh dear it happens to us all.
glad you are home, sad you will miss all the children.

9:00 PM  

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